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about

This song was written during the middle of the pandemic. My small apartment felt like it was closing in on me as I was home ALL the time. I needed some sort of change, anything would do so I started seeking a new place to live by taking trips to other states in the U.S. I was lonely and wanted a home and a partner to share it with. After multiple trips to find my new home I realized that moving during the pandemic was, in fact, not a good idea. There are two parallel story lines happening throughout the song - the search for love and the search for home. In the end, sometimes the best option is to hold steady with your current situation until the new path becomes more clear. I had the profound realization that I had been staying single because I thought this was the safest path. I had been letting my inner child run my dating life. I needed to come out of the fog and into more clarity around the adult relationship I truly want.

lyrics

The fog rolled in two years ago
Little did we know,
that it wouldn’t roll back
That we wouldn’t go back

Even if we wanted to
We could never go back
That train has lost its track
And there's no going back

After all this time
I saw it in your eyes
But I held the line
Yeah, I held the line
And we’re running out of time

Despite of what I want / I, I’m still Safe and alone
Maybe this year will be different / Maybe when, I when I find my home

I’m staying here
Ain’t nothing wrong
It's just not time to start over again
make a new set of friends

I knew there’d be consequence,
there always is
Oh, there’s nothing wrong with this
I’m gonna wait it out

I wanted you to see me
Like really really see me
I wanted you to know me
when i was happy
When I was doing fine

Despite of what I want
I, I’m still Safe and alone
Maybe this year will be different
Maybe when I find my home

credits

from In Order to Dream, released November 11, 2022

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Emily Lewis Santa Cruz, California

dreamer, creative visionary, hopeful romantic & mystic living in the foothills of the santa cruz mountains. writing songs and expressing my creative offering in service to the liberation of all beings and to bring balance onto the planet through authentic creative expression. ... more

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